Escape Plans

I like to tell people that I am mostly.

I say I’m mostly Kenyan when I live in America.

I’m mostly American when I live in Kenya.

I’m mostly an athlete

when the title fits me

and the pressure doesn’t get too big.

I am also mostly a good driver

a good friend

and sometimes bartender. 

It is hard to say *I am* without adding mostly.

To say it without a quiver in my voice

and a question in the air.

My mostly  is a five sided box with no room to escape.

A ladder out of the well.

The glass half full

and half empty

all at the same time.

My mostly is a tall order of optimism

with a splash of realism.

My mostly is an *I am… but give me room 

to be something else too*   

Mostly is me leaving space for growth and change. 

It is insurance that costs too much

and medicine I really don’t need.      

Many days I don’t think being mostly is that bad.

However, sometimes I find myself on a tightrope

with no safety net

forced to decide which way to walk.

And when I do not know the correct choice

I can say

*This is what I do now.*

*This is who I am now.*

*I am figuring it out.*

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