It is said that monsters don’t have reflections in mirrors.
I think there is some truth to that.
In fact, Junot Diaz, however twisted he may be,
once said to turn a human into a monster we must
“deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves.”
I was driving my car in my town the other day
when I saw a couple walking.
I wanted to pull over and say hello.
I would have, but for the fact I was on a busy road.
I had not realized there were other people of colour
that lived around me.
I mean
I assumed they were there.
But every time I go to the store
eat at a restaurant
drive to work
I must miss them.
My car windows are tinted and sometimes I wonder
if they prohibit me from being seen better.
Other times I thank God they are
because it seems I am seen too much.
Like when I go to the store and kids look at me with fear.
Or standing in line to order at a restaurant
and women clutch their purses.
When I get stopped by the police after closing my work
and instead of offering to escort me to my car
the time being midnight
they ask me what I am doing
who I am
what my work is
where my car is
and drive off
leaving me alone in a parking lot at night.
Some days I look in the mirror and don’t see anyone at all.
Anyone I recognize.
I would say those days are the worst but I would be lying.
The worst is when I tell others I can’t see me
and they do not even respond.
It’s almost as if they do not see me too.
40/53