When I Die

When I die

I think I would like to be cremated.

Take me to the ocean

and let me go.

I entered this world

placeless.

I will return

to be taken anywhere.

Before I die

I want to write all the poems

extend all my love

and understand the meaning of life. 

I think that knowing we are

before we stop breathing

is all the invitation we need

to live as fully as we can.

When I turn to ash

my depression and anxiety

will no longer threaten to take my name.

Everything I am will have to have been enough.

When I turn to ash

my black will not fade

my queer will not fade

I will still be love, as I am on earth. As I try to be on earth. 

I will no longer be

and that is okay.

I hope that will be okay

because my restless bones will finally need rest. 

When I die

throw my ashes into the ocean.

The ocean will know who I am

and what to do. 

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