Thoughts on Living in Transition
I unpacked my suitcases today. Clarification: I unpacked more suitcases today- the ones that came in the mail from Oregon. I hung up my artwork that arrived. I unpacked myself, my life, my last year in Oregon and said goodbye as I prepared to rebuild once again. I mean, I think I have always been rebuilding every since I got on the plane to take me away from Portland. But today was more symbolic. Today I started to set my roots down again. I feel like I am always setting myself down, and growing into the ground where I land, only to uproot to plant somewhere new. I am living my life in transit, scattered everywhere I have been with no feasible way to ever be completely together again. I do not think it is a bad thing, this separation. It is just hard.
In my quote book, 365 Days of Wonder: Mr. Browne’s Book of Precepts, the quote for October 13th was a Jewish proverb stating, “I ask not for a lighter burden but for broader shoulders” Two days later I am still trying to find the courage to reshape my perspective. All this time I have been wishing, praying if you will, that this(whatever this is- life?) gets easier. I do not see that happening anytime soon. Instead I feel myself getting stronger, day by day. Mentally I am learning to weather the storms that come my way. And physically my trainer is working with me so my shoulders will be able to carry heavier weight. Long as it may be, the path is correct.
“I ask not for a lighter burden but for broader shoulders”
In the beginning of high school I thought I may become an architect. There is just something about buildings that call me in and ask me home. The thought of being able to design home anywhere and for anyone is one that still intrigues me today. I eventually turned away from architecture as a career because, while I love art, math is not a strong skill of mine. However, I still do gush with admiration at the history of structures and how that history bleeds into what our world looks like today.
This last Christmas I got a visual history book on architecture. To date, this is one of my favorite presents received. Today, because of the arrival of my suitcases, I was reunited with that book. As I sat in bed and flipped through page after page of influential design and beautiful creations I started to reflect on the life that I am building for myself. I think I am creating something special- a life that I am going to be happy to have lived. I am very privileged to be able to say that, as many people cannot afford to do the same. Struggling as I may be, this will not all be in vain. My foundation is truth and love and I am ever searching for light in this journey of mine.
-K