A Poetry Collection

2020

Dear Reader,

This poetry collection is a deconstruction of what makes me who I am today. When you arrive at the beginning you are witnessing me, found on the other side of my pain. It has taken a long while to reach this point. And in the spirit of honesty, I do not live on this side. Rather, I reside in the middle somewhere within the reoccurring circles of loss, love, grief, and joy. This is an invitation to witness my growth and discovery of who I am.

If adoption is the base of what makes me the person I am today, then it is inextricably woven into my story. It is as close to an origin story as I get. Building on that, being an transracial African adoptee, my discovery of race follows. The difference of skin colour and culture was never a secret in my family and it was never meant to be. Thank God for that. The realization of my sexuality came after my observation of race. While it is not all that I am, who we love and how we love are so influential in molding us. I am not *me* without loving and being loved. And I doubt any of us is our best selves without that integral part of human life. The section that follows is an exploration of mental health and trauma. It cannot be avoided in my life. It is as much of me from the day I was left by my biological mother to my present condition. Many times I have let myself be defined by the worst parts of me and the hardest things in my life. But this book is a small reclamation of the complexity of my humanity and my fight for survival and longing to thrive.

Finally, I start to redefine home on my own terms and how influential living in multiple places has been. Home is everywhere that I have lived and loved and everywhere that people I love live. Home is also this book where I have poured so much of my time, labour, and care into that it holds my heartbeat and bears my name. Hopefully you will come to live in this book a while with me as well and it may be home to you also. And if not that, may this be a place you make peace with your brokenness and rejoice in your resilience.

 My story is written starting at home and traveling back to birth. Read it front to back if you desire, and find me unraveled, but not destroyed. Or perhaps you prefer to read it back to front and watch me finding myself, damaged, but nevertheless, whole. We do not move through this life unscathed but we are not less than deserving of love and joy for the path we have traveled. 

This is me, in all that I am willing to give. Thank you for holding witness.

All my love,

-K

*Best read on a PC*