moving on

i pack my life up carefully.

next week i will be in another state & i want to make sure whatever i leave behind deserves to stay. in an old sock i put a soapstone dolphin my dad got me from by the indian ocean. besides that i slip an angel statue from my elementary speech therapist into another sock. these will be cushioned by the scarves i used to buy to cover my hair with before i decided to cut it all off so i wouldn’t tug it out. my paintings are off my walls, the brushes my mom bought me tied in a pouch & i only have one set of football boots laying by the door. if the box by my closet were to open it would reveal plastic horse figurines, korean fans, carved bowls from kenya, & a cast of my bust that is symbolic of my survival. i’m leaving the place where i left you after you left me. i’m leaving the place that i almost didn’t outlive & i’m leaving the place in which i learned to love again.

clothes are the most insignificant on my list of what to carry– i don’t even have two suitcases full. the rest is art. overflowing. what a beautiful life i have accumulated & created. & to think i was worried i wouldn’t have the space to remember.