Prayer #99461

God, i know i’ve asked for so much in these years. 
truthfully, i’ve wanted it all & i’ve not thought i’d get any of it. 
but i prayed anyway. 

food on my table. gas in my car. one more kiss. a consistent job. books. my soccer team winning. my friends to return. less injuries. more money. world peace. my dog curled up on my feet. the movie character’s demise. healing. not sleeping past my alarm. to be understood. to write more poetry. warmth in winter. to write better poetry. for that one thing that one time not to have happened to me. & for that other thing not to have happened to me either (i have a whole list, ya know). ending poverty. that i didn’t break a toe on the door frame i tried to walk through. that i wasn’t me. abolition. more books. icing and lots of it. matcha. me, in abundance. sex. love. a lobotomy. my memories. more sex. that my friends lived closer. the ability to breathe underwater & understand whales. not to have to work to survive. sleep. clarity. grace. anger. to remember my last prayer that i already forgot but i swear i won’t lose track of what i’m asking for again. forgiveness. community. a plane ticket home.  

& yeah, God, i want a heaven i don’t have to die to get into.
but if that’s too much to ask for, maybe just promise me i’ll wake up tomorrow.