To The Person Who Lived in This Body Before Me

I am sorry you could not imagine this future
in its most wild beauty
before you died
and I arrived.
I did not mean to push you away
so that this body would have space for me
but I did not know how to grow any other way.
I hope you know I still carry remnants of you
with me every day.
Our smile did not change.
Neither did our stature.
Or laugh
and that way we lose track of our eyes in our joy
when we see goodness,
that did not change either.

I am trying to stay soft like you were.
Not weak
but malleable
as the world tries to forge me from fire.
I want to keep our gooey insides
just that
inside and protected and free.
Just you and me.

I need you to know that some version of you made it through me.
Made me.
Made sure the depression didn't own my name
the anxiety didn't claim this future
and the trauma didn't define past.
I guess, all this to say
thank you.