When Running Outside is an Act of Resistance

“If the men who killed Emmett Till had known his body would free a people, they would have let him live.” -Reverend Jesse L. Jackson Sr.

I keep seeing Ahmaud Arbery’s body fall on the pavement. It is with me when lay down to sleep, wake up in the morning, put on my running shoes, and head out the door. Running outside feels like an act of resistance. Being black and alive feels like resistance in and of itself. I used to live in a white suburban neighborhood and I knew that line between life and death was very thin. I knew that wearing a hoodie and walking on my sidewalk may be the last thing I did. I knew that driving past a police officer may be my last moment of freedom. I knew that playing my music loudly, sitting at home eating ice cream in front of the TV, gathering with friends or lingering in front of an unknown house could be a death sentence. I had seen the stories and knew the names; being black and moving through white spaces and past white people was a game of Russian roulette. Every black person knows this. The bullets will come, they always do; white supremacy is a loaded gun that takes without remorse and never suffers consequence. Being black is a gamble and your life is always what is at stake.

Ahmaud Arbery lost that gamble. He was black and was found running. He was hunted like an animal. Killed in broad daylight, his murder was caught on film and still, no one was held accountable. The rage I feel is all consuming. To be anything less than enraged is to not be listening. It is to be willfully ignorant. To see the injustice and choose to stay silent is betrayal.

I do not know what happens behind closed doors and cannot say what individual conversations people have in person about the devastation white supremacy leaves in its wake, but I do see who in my life is vocal on social media or not. I see who makes a case for the justification of black deaths and who asks me to extend grace and remain passive. I see which pastors have spoken up and I see which Christians use the bible as a weapon to uphold racism. I see this all and I am heartbroken.

If you are white and reading this, show up. Do the work the dismantle oppressive systems. Listen to black voices. Speak out against injustice. Tell your kids that racism is still very much alive. Tell them how lynching still happens in 2020. Recite the names of black people murdered at the hands of the police and by racists. Find out what you can do to be a better ally. Refuse to be silent. Do not leave us alone to fight for our lives.

If you are black and reading this, may you find peace. May you find comfort. May you find solidarity. You are not alone in your heartbreak and rage.