Lessons From Marilynne Robinson

After I graduated high school I took a gap year and intended to go to university afterwards. During my gap year I applied to schools, got in on good scholarships, and then decided to take a second year off. Coming into this second year I thought I knew what the plan was and what I was going to do. And for the most part, I did know. However, the deeper I got into my summer, the more I found myself hesitating at all the steps I was about to take. After weeks and months planning my second year, I found myself in Harrisonburg, Virginia with little to no clue about the future.

Marilynne Robinson, in her book, Home, writes, “Weary or bitter of bewildered as we may be, God is faithful. He lets us wander so we will know what it is like to come home.” After two months of bitterness I was holding onto this quote until my weary feet could find some rest. This weekend I finally found solace. I had the opportunity to drive to New York to visit my friend, Habi. I had not seen him since we met in Ethiopia three years go. As soon as I saw him, peace met me where I was at. What was meant to be short visit turned into me being embraced by his family and staying the night. I let down my load, and for the first time all summer, I slept well.

“Weary or bitter of bewildered as we may be, God is faithful. He lets us wander so we will know what it is like to come home.”

-Marilynne Robinson

All this is not to say that I will be moving to New York soon or that I do not find myself at home in Harrisonburg. This is to say maybe Marilynne Robinson was onto something: this period of bewilderment will not last forever. Even though I may still be in the middle of finding my way through confusion that threatens to swallow me whole, there will be moments I find comfort in places that feel like home. I ended up spending twenty-two hours in New York with Habi and his wonderful family. Those hours were a gift. So as I try to figure out what this second year looks like, I have come to the conclusion that while weariness is to be expected, I do not have to hold this bitterness so tightly. I can leave room to embrace who is in front of me.

I find myself returning to Virginia without a solid plan of what to do next. But I also find that I am not without hope.

This too shall pass.

-K